One significant step in trauma healing is overcoming feeling sorry for the narcissistic abuser. It comes to a point where we just have to leave them where they are at. They made the choice and we let them go. As Jesus says, we let the dead bury their dead.
We all go through that season when we realize the narcissistic abuser is a lost cause of feeling a little sorry for them, which we later learn is what they want to keep an illusion of control over our emotions. As the toddlers in adult bodies they are, they will always want others to feel sorry for them because they like attendees at their pity parties. As they say, misery loves company.
By feeling sorry for the narcissistic abuser, we inadvertently turn over holy things to dogs and cast pearls before swine. Matthew 7:6. The enemy knows this too and that is why he likes to keep us feeling sorry for the wicked instead of shutting off our spiritual energy conduit; our empathy. Before we knew better, we used to walk around with our hearts on our sleeves and that is what got us into trouble with these narcissistic abusers who are always seeking to steal, kill, and destroy.
Narcissistic abusers are the ones who despise true and genuine goodness and genuinely kind hearts because they don't have a pure heart. Without Jesus, we are lost souls and the enemy knows that too. Hence why these narcissistic abusers are sent to try and turn us into one of them. We learn to stop feeling sorry for them when we realize it gives them an illusion of power and control over us and that Jesus taught tough love.
Additionally, we stop feeling sorry for the narcissistic abuser when we learn that is how the enemy tricks people into continuing to walk in their feelings which is walking in flesh. We are to walk in spirit, not in flesh. We stop feeling sorry for the abusers when we learn they make the choice to keep dishing out the abuse and don't want to change. We learn to stop feeling sorry for them because they too had the chance to choose God and instead they refused and conformed to this world.
Finally, when we learn that the righteous are bold as a lion, we stop feeling sorry for the evildoers and overcome any sadness that is associated with those emotions. We no longer see the narcissistic abusers as "good" humans because they are demonically possessed. We don't feel sorry for the enemy or his minions. After all, God gave him the boot right out of heaven for developing the very I'sm mindset the narcissistic abusers have. As always, you can learn more on our YouTube channel where there is something for everyone, wherever you are at in the healing and spiritual growth process!