Breaking the Trauma Bond to the Individual Abuser - Part 3
Part 3 of breaking the trauma bond to the individual abuser is about overcoming the guilt, the demon of guilt, for falling for their tricks and for feeling sad for them. We learn that we cannot feel guilty for what we didn't know at the time and this is a natural part of the healing process.
Branching out from the August 2022 newsletter, let's cover some additional insights about overcoming the demon the of guilt because this is a trick of the enemy to prolong the trauma bond. We all learn that throughout our lives we were narcissistically abused by people always playing the guilt-tripping game, so over time, that takes a toll on our hearts and psyche. We begin to get used to feeling guilty for things we have zero reason to feel guilty over.
That's what the enemy wants as the world seeks perfection so that when we don't meet the narcs expectations, the narc will dish out a condescending statement that is designed to guilt-trip. After years of being guilt-tripped, the enemy thinks we will always suffer from the demon of guilt if we choose to go no contact, cutting off his flying monkeys. The enemy also wants us to feel guilty for things that we didn't know!
God says He will not have us ignorant and when He wakes us up to and from the abuse, we realize we have nothing to feel guilty about because we did not know until we knew. Hence why forgiveness from God is so very precious. God forgives us so we can forgive ourselves for being duped. You can always find additional healing and spiritual growth help on the YouTube channel and elsewhere, but we wanted to bring you all some more help here in this blog for some additional healing tips.
We learn to rebuke that demon of guilt in Jesus's name and even if it doesn't flee permanently right away, when we keep rebuking, eventually it has to flee for good. We realize that the narcissistic abuser chose their lifestyle and to be that way, even though it takes a bit to understand this as we never thought a human being could be so cruel. We also learn that because of the years of guilt-tripping by others, usually a part-time narc we didn't identify until later, we were being brainwashed into feeling guilty for things we don't own.
We do not need to feel guilty for the mistakes of others, for falling for the abuse that we didn't know at the time was abuse, and for ever falling for another abuser because we were still learning red flags. Seriously, any of you who feel for another abuser again, please do not beat yourself up because learning the red flags very well is a process. We all have to learn them and get them down packed. God knows this and is patient as we learn them.
Those who are around us who continue to try the guilt-tripping, we recognize it quicker going forward and we learn not to let it get under your skin. Also, when they do that, they are just trying to relieve themselves of something they are feeling guilty over. So, stop and ask yourself, "Hmmm, what did they do?" Because when they are playing the guilt-tripping game, it means they did something they shouldn't have and they cannot process their guilt properly by going to God and asking His forgiveness.
Stay strong fellow warriors! You have nothing to feel guilty about. Love and light, always.