Breaking the Trauma Bond to the Individual Abuser Part 1
Breaking the trauma bond to the world also applies to breaking the trauma bond to the narcissistic abuser. Overcoming unhealthy attachments to people and things applies to many things. God tells us we did not bring anything into this world, and we surely cannot take anything out of this world. 1 Timothy 6:7.
With narcissistic abuse all around us, it can seem difficult to break trauma bonds, but it is not impossible. As stated in the June 2022 and June 2021 newsletters, it begins with breaking the dependency on external validation. You can learn more about this dependency in this video. The enemy tricks many into depending on all things external so that we are easier to manipulate and control, aka abuse. Here is another video more specific to external validation.
The trauma bond is just like a drug addiction and that is why it takes time and trust in God to overcome the addiction to the abuser. Yes! We got addicted to that intermittent reinforcement, which is the flip-flopping between love-bombs and devaluing. For example, the abuser will shower us with adoration and affection one day, then turn around and devalue us the next day, usually with backhanded compliments and gaslighting. We can say that backhanded compliments are gaslights.
During the gaslighting, survivors are put under the cognitive dissonance spell, that heavy fog of confusion the enemy loves to use against humanity daily. Once that starts to lift and we begin to see with God needs us to see, the enemy can tell and he does not like it. And that's too bad. God will reveal all regardless of what the enemy does or tries to do. Remember, the enemy cannot control salvation. Only God controls salvation. Once we learn to accept that the narcissistic abuser is an abuser, we start to break that trauma bond and undergo withdrawal symptoms just like a drug withdrawal.
It does get easier when we stay with God and don't let the enemy trick us again. There are many things to look forward to once the trauma bond breaks, and one is that the survivor will no longer care what other people think of them and that helps break that dependency on external things. The next step to breaking the trauma bond to the abuser, after accepting they are an abuser, is learning not to avoid the feelings that we all must face head on to get our emotions in check.
Once we do that, we become more aware of that spiritual energy transfer to recognize when an emotion does not belong to us. We must be emotionally stable and regulated to do this. All the ups and downs associated with the trauma bond withdrawal will level out as God is renewing the mind to not only help us unlearn garbage, but also to help our brain chemistry return to it's normal function. How long it takes to break the trauma bond depends on various things, as discussed here.
Stay strong fellow warriors as God continues to level you up, clearing your mind and showing you everything you missed while in that toxic, abusive situation or relationship! I will be covering more about breaking that trauma bond to the individual abuser as there are many things to cover. But for now, I leave you with these tips, along with the June 2022 free newsletter (sign up is at the bottom of this website) to digest and work on first.
Love and light, always! You can find all the available videos specific to the trauma bonds in this playlist to binge on at your own pace and time.