Finding Stability Post Narcissistic Abuse

In the beginning with narcissists, things appear stable because we don't know anything else yet. We don't know about God's reality and that we have been conditioned to believe the lies narcissists tell us about our future with them that is full of stability. A stable home, a stable job, a stable family...

The world taught us that stability is something we will only find externally and we believed it because of all the images around us portraying stability in families and life. What some of us thought was a stable family life, we learn later was a dysfunctional narcissistic family that was very much unstable; we just couldn't see the truth yet. We become conditioned to seek stability, outwardly and subconsciously as a result even though our conscious "believes" we have achieved stability at some level. 

We believe we achieve stability when we find a job that pays consistently weekly, bi-weekly, or monthly because that gave us peace of mind knowing we had that "stable" paycheck. Nothing wrong with this except our mindset behind it - a subconscious codependency on it for "stability." Remember, we are discussing finding stability here, not a job with a guaranteed paycheck. With that out of the way, we then go on in the world seeking a stable home life outside of the perceived stable family life we have come to know so well. 

As we continue to search for that stable life outside of the family life, we think we find it with a narcissist who promises us the world and more! Then we are living with the narcissist and doing all the "normal" things we saw while in the stable family like cooking, cleaning, or whatever task we thought was a sign of stability. Then God awakens us to narcissism and its evil of this world. We start to see behind the facade of the narcissist (we now know what he/she is). We plan our escape and get out when we can as God delivers us from the evil. 

Our world feels like it has been turned upside down! But that is just God turning things back around into the upright position where they belong but we don't know that right away. We are consumed by thoughts of "what if I only and what am I going to do now?" We ruminate over the narcissist, searching online for anything that will help us make it make sense! We are in a season of major mental instability trying to sort through the mud and the muck. For many, it is was years of lies to sort through and many of us are still purging the subconscious of those lies today. 

Along the way we do finally get some closure from God and answers about the narcissist and why they did what they did and now we want to find that stability again. The same stability we thought we had with the narcissist or narcissists. No matter how hard we try we just cannot seem to find it again! Where did that stability go? Considering that everything about narcissism is an illusion, it should come as no surprise that the stability we thought we had with narcissists is also an illusion. Then how and where do we find stability? 

As we are told in Romans 12:2, we go through transformation by the renewing of the mind. We also learn throughout the Bible that our mind is quite powerful because that is where the kingdom of God is; more specifically in our subconscious mind where our thoughts are formed. My late grandpa Micheal Orth talked about how our thoughts govern the majority of our lives in his 1954 teachings and he is correct! Our thoughts control our autonomic nervous system and are our spiritual power. 

God says what a man thinketh in his heart, so is he and that is spot on. Our heart and soul reside in our subconscious mind. We have a spiritual heart! Once we learn these spiritual truths, we begin to understand why we are unable to find the illusion of stability we thought we had with a narcissist because stability begins within. Stability, like all things our hearts desire, begins within our subconscious mind. We find stability mentally first before we can find stability in the physical. 

That is how it works in God's reality; we manifest spiritually first and then it becomes a physical reality as we heal and work on ourselves and embrace the fact that with the kingdom of God within our minds, we are already home! Inside the spiritual home with God, we have all the stability we need mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Next comes the preparation for the true physical stability with God in the physical without narcissists in our external home environment. You can learn more about how I learned that stability begins within in this YouTube video! 

Stay the course fellow warriors and know that you are already home and stable in your mind! Love and light, always.